Self-doubt—or—do you ever feel like you’re faking it all?

Even though I aced the tests, even though I have the experience and skills, something tells me that I didn’t get the job because I was qualified for it. Something tells me there are other people who are far more qualified, who would be better at the job. I must have woven some sort of magical web, I must have cast some sort of surreptitious spell. I have an uncanny ability to pull the right words out of the air, barely trying, without planning ahead or editing my thoughts. Of course that talent doesn’t always materialize when I want or need it to, but somehow it works, somehow the words themselves are magic, the language I use to convince those around me to do my bidding. And if the words fail then there is the distracting picture I make, my turquoise and silver bangle, my flashy gold earrings, my multiple necklaces, the dark eye makeup, the shimmery pink lipstick, the sparkly gold and pink confetti nail polish, pulled together with tight pants and a bright top and fancy boots. It must have been a combination of the verbal spell and the visually disorienting wardrobe that got me the job…it couldn’t have been my qualifications.

 

 

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2 thoughts on “Self-doubt—or—do you ever feel like you’re faking it all?”

  1. In many high circles, these spurious luminosity you speak of so eloquently are called skills, talents and gifts. The few people who possess such are paid well for them…and their recipients are happier to experience the ‘qualifications’ as well.

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